april and the medical term stalker... (no sense at all) i know...

My day started with waking up earlier than I used to. I was kind of rushing because I slept pretty late last night having one of those late night conversations with my stepmum. This was also the day where my father will be watching and observing the way I drive and I hate it… he never tells me when I’m doing a great job and I feel like it’s always my mistakes and blunders that he notices. I guess some parents are like that in a way and I’m a hard headed girl too so I understand him. He still doesn’t trust the way I drive and because I’m nervous due to wanting to please him badly I made a mistake right at the beginning. I was driving an automatic car and using both my feet having my right step on the gas and left on the breaks. I was like why are the breaks this way? He replied “it’s an automatic car!” I gushed and felt unease… just responded “oh yeah I forgot!” but the whole travel was pretty much okay. I think I did well…

I spent my half day at school just tackling about MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY (which made my brain just freeze at the moment we were discussing…). Just typing it and hearing myself say it gives me the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. The feeling of vomiting… I honestly cannot believe I am on my way to having a career in the medical field…

I always wanted to be a teacher. I always wanted to teach special children. I want to be able to use what God has given me as a tool in helping out children that are less privileged. I want them to feel like they are no difference to who I am or what I am. God just chose them and made them more special.

Before I entered the school, I had to go through the interviews and the counselor gave me hope by telling me that being in the medical field, I will still be able to pursue the dream of teaching. It cheered me up and made me feel better. A door closed for me but a window opened. God is really good.

I am nervous though. I was emailing my friend about the school program and he’s doing the same thing just in another college and he goes saying something like “stress will be your boyfriend…” I replied to him by saying I’d rather stay single all my life than have stress be my boyfriend. It is difficult to be in the medical field and I’m getting all these jittery feelings because I am not a hundred percent sure with what lies ahead. What I keep in mind to enthuse and motivate me is that you can’t have everything in life the easy way. The harder you work for whatever it is you want, the more you appreciate what you have achieved. Just like my past, I got everything easy; I always took the easy way out as well, in a way I took the sweet life and I never knew I’d be bitter from the sweet…

Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean you stop trying… It only means you have to work harder…

As soon as I got home, I ate the whole tilapia set aside for me in the dining table, washed the dishes and dozed to sleep! My brain was hurting, not my body. But it was all good. Downside of sleeping too much is that I woke up pretty late around seven and I still had to complete some of my requirements in school so my stepmum accompanied me to Walgreen’s to buy what I needed. In the process of looking for my stuff, she found this hair straightening product that would last for 3 months and is something you can do at home and of course being a FOB I was in awe… as usual. I was excited to do her hair so I convinced her to get it. She got me a box of pop tarts (strawberry flavored ones too!) And yes again I was amazed. That doesn’t sound so surprising anymore hahaha. As soon as we got home I opened my pop tarts box and started munching on it (you can’t blame me! I never tried it when I was in the Philippines and I’m not even sure if we have it there) and my mom showered and I started working on her hair :-) it probably took us 2 hours to do the whole process and she just went to bed so I’m left here writing on my blog… the result was nice although my stepmum is quite a finicky type of person so it was just plain okay with her. I don’t think she was that happy with it but I hope she is…

I need to rest and prepare myself for another day of school (a mind boggling experience again).

I am feeling like I should most likely change this blog’s title to “This is a story of a FOB girl”…\I am acting so like a FOB well I am I know but I don’t really care… I love being Filipino… I love getting to find out about the simple things in this country even though I’m a little old for that because it just makes me happy… makes me have tachy cardia (medical term for fast heart) – yikes!!! The medical terms are following me, I mean stalking me! Anyways I love being shallow, in the sense that I love that simple things make me a happy person already… that’s what I always wanted to be, that’s what I always needed.
Maybe I forgot to laugh before and I filled my head with too much worries and sadness that it overflowed already…

I am happy and content the way I am right at this moment, with myself and the people surrounding me specially my family and my faith.

I need to let the bed bugs bite me now… it’s getting pretty late… :-) tralala…