blah blah blah

There are a lot of times I tend to just look up the sky or stare at a blank wall and just think. I am the type of person that would be likely to make things or situations complicated or in short I would say dramatic (it sounds so bad though). I do think too much. I think of everything and it messes me up even my sleeping habits. If I could just buy a vitamin or an anti oxidant that would help me be in peace or just help me clear out my brain I definitely would buy it. By thinking too much I do waste my time and my energy. It doesn’t solve anything; it doesn’t even help solve anything.

I don’t think I am not over the fact that I’m not going back to the Philippines it’s just that there are those times wherein I can’t help but compare my situation here and when I was back home. I guess I just miss what I’m accustomed to. I miss the place where I grew up and spent my whole life in.

I still can’t be strict to myself and I hate it. I can’t implement my own rules. I get the lazy feeling whenever I try to stand up in the morning. I have become a procrastinator and I really wasn’t like this before. I already get lazy by thinking that I need to read my books. I’m putting too much slack and I need to stop this soon.

I feel worst because of thinking too much and being super sick right now.

It’s funny that I feel like all I’m writing are just random thoughts and it’s driving me nuts because my brain is just blank, dry and not working.

I did a stupid thing too by checking the profile of my ex boyfriend’s girlfriend. Why do I think it’s stupid? I don’t feel anything for the person anymore, I don’t hold any grudge towards him or the girl, I’m not jealous in any way but still it’s stupid because I don’t want to judge her or him. I mean I am happy that he’s finally happy and I knew it wasn’t going to work out anyways. It’s better for both of us that we let each other go coz I’m happier now. It made me a better person.

I also figured that i'm really not the type of person that can keep heartaches inside or even grudges inside me, i tend to forget too.

I'm not happy with the way things are working out for me right now but I have to live and deal with it.

I love seeing people around me walk, hold hands and kiss because by that I know that even though it doesn't work out for me, it works out for other people... Love that is.

Enough with my arbitrary out of nowhere thoughts flying round my head and my brain.

Still… I feel uber sick like I just want to sleep it off so I can get over with it.