I feel like I’m losing focus on things that I have to prioritize. I had to wake up at 3 a.m. to study but I didn’t. I woke up around 6 a.m. I know I would still be able to make it at school but then I don’t know anything for the test. I only have 3 days of school and on my spare time I don’t study that’s why I feel so bad cramming and not having enough time. I know it’s something I should work on but I guess part of it is because it not what I want to do. Sometimes I don’t know anymore how to convince myself that I could do this.

I do want to be good at what I do but I think I just need a break from it. Every time I go to school I feel like the same thing is going to happen. It feels like I just don’t see myself doing it in the future and it bothers me because it has been an issue with me since I started this. The contemplations I go thru just drives me crazy. I always feel baffled when it comes to this issue. I am clueless and I need somebody to save me…